You can instead try a distro that just works on most hardware, like Linux Mint or other easy-to-use distros suggested in this thread. That way you can slowly learn how to use Linux if you want, while using Linux, so you can later use a more finicky distro more suited to what you want.

For years I used Ubuntu, but when GNOME 3 came out I changed to Xubuntu, and then when Snap came out I changed to Mint Xfce. I’ve used several 2nd-hand desktops and laptops over the decades, so brand-new hardware might be more problem-prone.

I started off trying Slackware, SUSE, and Mandrake; but struggled too much with them so I stayed with Windows. Ubuntu just worked for me, so it allowed me to easily ditch Windows. Years later, I had update problems when I tested MX Linux and Debian, but instead of trying to fix it, I personally found it easier to just look for a distro better suited to the way I want to use my computer.

Your top list is for Gen Z’s where #1 is "12345, combining for everyone #1 is 123456.

there’s no Linux client that supports lossless

Do you mean ALAC files? I downloaded a sample at https://getsamplefiles.com/sample-audio-files/alac and played it in VLC under Linux. There are several players that can play libavcodec FFmpeg.

Aren’t the A and Q keys also at terrible positions?

If I remember correctly I had the same start: tested Knoppix, tried Mandrake for a short time, then Ubuntu which I used for several years until Gnome 3 when I switched to Xubuntu for several years, but when snap happened I tried Debian, then Mint for a while, but I’m now trying MX.