a junior dev asked me one time about our dev test environments. I chuckled before starting to look him dead in the eyes for 50 seconds straight without saying a single word, but my lips quivering. he had audible gasps as if to speak, but was ultimately speechless the entire time. he understood though. I could tell from the 1ml tear that formed only on his left eye. he pushed. prod crashed. we stayed late on a friday. management ordered pizza. I’m lonely and I love pizza. was all part of the plan.

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I won’t upgrade til they let me use throttlestop with virtualization enabled.

I met Steve one time waiting in line at rite aid and he told me he hates dessert and hugs. that’s weird I thought. I was holding a drink and he smacked it out of my hand. then he pointed at something on my shirt. I was concerned I had an embarrassing stain or something, but I went to look down at it, he fucking hits me in the face. I hate Steve man.