the meme is making the more extreme claim that no uses exist

Only if you take it literally instead of as a joke that is exaggerating for comedic effect.

Not concerned about porch pirates at all

Not everyone has been blessed with the same gift of blissful ignorance that you have.

I agree that people shouldn’t order Ring, it’s a shitty product for the reasons laid out in this thread and article. But “just be nicer to everyone around you” is not a viable alternative, and suggesting it is dismissive of the realities other people are living.

If you’re still talking about getting shit stolen off your porch, anyone within driving distance could be responsible for it.

Do you really think it’s possible to try to become friends with or “help out” every asshole within a 10 minute drive of where you live? Or even identify everyone in that range who might have sticky fingers?

PS2 is retro now? Damn, getting old really does sneak up on you.